Peeling Skin Off My Sunburned Feet

Submitted by Dmitry Neronov. He wrote it at the Getty. We are amused by his rhymes.


There’s nothing to do,

Nothing to do, nothing to see

I can’t explain

The emptiness inside of me


All my friends are out,

Out of town, all took their cars

I can’t even hang out

With my cronies at the bar


Nothing to watch

Nothing good on TV

The most exciting show on

Is Meet the Press on NBC

My place is tidy

There’s nothing to clean

Although I could start

Decorating for Halloween


Looking at the window

Makes me depressed

I can’t even see

The Sun setting in the West


The library isn’t open

Today ‘til noon

So I can’t check out

The amazing Goodnight Moon


I could start my novel

A novel not even Mom will buy

She’d rather watch

Reruns of Magnum, P.I.


I end up pulling up a chair

To troll around the net

Laughing at the idiots

Who constantly get upset


I could write an e-mail

To Jack my nephew

But he’ll likely respond

“who the f–k are you?”


Time to go on Reddit

The point of no return

Surfing while listening to

The Sleeper Agent’s “Get Burned”


I stumble upon a post

By a dude named Sam Hecht

He asked: “who wants to

Join a club of intellect?”


Within minutes Sam earned karma

For starting such a club

I switched to a video

Of whistle tips and Bubb Rubb


I replayed that ten times

Giggling at Bubb Rubb with glee

Suddenly the connection went out

As the French say, “c’est la vie!”


As I reset the router

The whistle tips continued to blare

Banging my head,

I thought “Why do I even care?”


I shut off my computer in rage

To take a walk outside

Feeling so bored

So lonely I could cry


Logged back into Reddit

Sent a message to Sam

Telling him his idea is

Even better than candied yams


Nevertheless, Sam answered back:

“Thanks! Here’s an upvote for you!”

Elated, I let out a yell and

Went to Zappos for new shoes

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